Good Faith Appraisal Blog

How to Win Friends and Influence People
December 14th, 2009 11:54 PM

The first book I will be reviewing is a classic: How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. This book was printed in 1937 and has since sold millions and millions of copies. The reason is simple and will be on the bottom of this review. Carnegie argues that nothing is more important for a business “star” than the ability to manage and persuade people. Good old fashion “people skills...” It is not: great ideas, tons of contacts, over work, etc. Rather, people skills. His findings are from years of counseling others and listening to what they say works. Below is the outline from his book. It is written systematically following this outline to a tee. The entire list of “rules” is below. Filling the other 300 pages is nothing but examples. It is possible to learn enough to change your level of influence just by reading and implementing the outline below. I do recommend reading the book in its entirety because the examples are from many famous people throughout history. Please follow this outline and report your results…

Here is Dale Carnegie’s summary outline of the book:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Win people to your way of thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
  11. Dramatize your ideas.
  12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save face.
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

After you read this outline it is quite simple to see why these strategies work with your “people skills.”

They are straight out of the Bible…

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Posted by Christopher Vasecka on December 14th, 2009 11:54 PMPost a Comment

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